I was never close to my dad growing up. He spent a lot of time working -- even though he eventually worked from home -- and our personalities just seemed to clash. And, if we're being honest here, I was never the easiest person to get along with or deal with in my younger days (and maybe now too!) I remember thinking, on rare occasions (and even though deep down I knew it wasn't true), that he didn't even like me and that I would never be close to him. It wasn't until a few years ago that things changed.
I've spent some time thinking about our relationship recently. Tomorrow, June 20th, is Father's Day. But more than that, it is my Dad's 60th birthday! So, as an honor to my dad, here are a few memories I have from growing up...
* He rocked me to sleep while listening to Riders in the Sky or Emmy Lou Harris
* "Pretty Prairie Princess" by Riders in the Sky was "our song"
* He once sat on the edge of my bed and the bed collapsed
* We went on vacation when I was about 8 or 10 or somewhere in there and I brought along some Polly Pockets to play with in the car. Much to my disappointment, when I opened them up, I didn't have any of the Polly's in them. He drew and cut out a paper doll for me. It was WAY too big for the Polly Pockets but you know... I still have that paper doll to this day.
* He wrote me a poem called "Tomatoes Have Feelings Too" when I was a vegetarian. It pretty much made fun of me and vegetarianism.
* He used to always say "pull my finger"
* He used to always say I had something on my shirt and I fell for it every. single. time. (even twice in a row!!!) I would get sooo mad!!
* He wanted to make me a dollhouse when I was little. He worked with my Papa to do it but let my Papa take all the credit for it because it was important to him. I didn't find out until well after my Papa passed away that my dad even had anything to do with that dollhouse. (And my dad was never the one to tell me!)
* We went Black Friday shopping together. The first year we went we came up with this brilliant plan of how we were going to get in the store and get what we wanted. We had a great time. I also remember one year while we were waiting in line for something, we passed an electric guitar. He looked at it and just impulsively put it in his cart. I am not sure he played it more than the five minutes when we brought it home. He's just so impulsive like that and it's hilarious!
* When I called home crying my first night of college (or pre-college band camp) in his most supportive voice he said, "Uhh here's Mom!"
* In college when I couldn't get into a class that I needed, he stood up for me and helped me talk with the dean and get me into the class.
* He made me laugh, while crying, when he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day.
* He has always been there for me and our family. I have no idea why I thought he didn't love us when it's so obvious that he did.
My dad is a great man. He is a great person and father. He is hilarious. He is smart. He is also a smart-ass. I wouldn't change one thing about him. I love him so much! And even though he shows it in different ways, I know he feels the same about us. He is also the best Papa to Jacob. So patient with him and plays the same things over and over again because it makes Jacob happy. We are all so blessed to have my dad in our family.
For the longest time, I guess I thought
He didn't give a damn
Hard to read, hard to please
Yeah, that was my old man
On the day I left for college
It was nothing new
We never had that heart-to-heart
He had too much to do
He checked the air in my tires
The belts and all the spark plug wires
Said "When the hell's the last time
You had this oil changed?"
And as I pulled out the drive
He said "Be sure and call your mom sometime"
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
The only way he knew how
120,000 miles
Six years down the road
A brand new life and a brand new wife
We'd just bought our first home
When he finally came to visit
I thought he'd be so proud
He never said he liked the place
He just got his tool belt out
And put new locks on the doors
Went back and forth to the hardware store
Said "Come and hold this flashlight"
As he crawled beneath the sink
And "These old wires ain't up to code"
And "That circuit box is gonna overload"
And I didn't hear it then
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
The only way he knew how
Last Sunday, we all gathered
For his 65th birthday
And I knew he'd stiffen up
But I hugged him anyway
When it was finally time to say goodbye
I knew what we next
Just like he always does
Right before we left
He checked the air in my tires
The belts and all the spark plug wires
Said "When the hell's the last time
You had this oil changed?"
And as I pulled out of the drive
He said "Be sure to call your mom sometime"
And I didn't hear it then
And I didn't hear it then
But I hear it now
He was saying "I love you"
The only way he knew how
- Bucky Covington, A Father's Love
Emily,
ReplyDeleteI want to post a response to this but I can't because I'm in tears.
<3 - Jennifer
PS: By the way this is Jenn (Kayla's Mom), and my journal is here too!